Saturday, March 24, 2018

79/365/Secrets and Lies in 56

My mother’s friend Mary, being the type who volunteers at birth-control clinics, was not the type to tell. Still, the night we both showed up, I dodged her, dashing nearly naked across halls until my best friend used her own exam as a diversion. As far as I know, Mary took my secret to the grave.

78/365/Secrets and Lies in 56

The Monkees. Glen Campbell. Andy Williams. The Partridge Family. Jackson 5. The Carpenters. The Osmond Brothers. Bay City Rollers. Olivia Newton-John. John Denver. Barry Manilow. Carole King. Bee Gees. Billy Joel. Helen Reddy. Tony Orlando and Dawn. Carlie Simon. Elton John. Jim Croce. Eagles. America. The Doobie Brothers. KC and the Sunshine Band. Simon and Garfunkel.

Thursday, March 22, 2018

77/365/Secrets and Lies in 56

I wonder if those guys like us anymore—if we’ve simply drifted a bit or if they have an active preference for people way cooler than us. I can’t address it directly, because if I do, I will always wonder if they really want to hang out with me or if it’s because I said something.

76/365/Secrets and Lies in 56

In high school, I had a box of corn starch hidden in my dresser drawer. I didn’t know what I’d say if my parents discovered it. Would they believe I planned to thicken some sauces or soups? We all know I’m not the type to make corn syrup. “Arrowroot!” I could insist. “I needed a substitute.”

75/365/Secrets and Lies in 56

After Mali
A friend left a teapot at my house. I put it aside, meant to return it to her. But we drifted, she moved, and I still had the teapot. Guilt did not propel me to return it; embarrassment beat good intentions. During my 2017 Things purge, I consigned it. I have heard nothing about it since.

74/365/Secrets and Lies in 56

A 2000 TV debut sounded morally abhorrent: A group needs to depend on and trust each other for island survival but must get rid of each other one by one until only one is left standing. I refused to watch until first-half-of-the-season reruns for latecomers sucked me in. In eighteen years, I’ve never missed an episode.

Wednesday, March 21, 2018

73/365/Secrets and Lies in 56

My sister’s thank-you dinner to us was postponed a day because so many crises kept us from heading home. It was supposed to be a surprise for me, and Tim had suggested a roasted chicken, which my vegan sister actually prepared, then, shockingly, ate with us, conspiratorially saying, “Don’t tell Will and Eric,” other vegan friends.

Monday, March 19, 2018

72/365/Secrets and Lies in 56

“Your mom lied to me,” my husband says, in disbelief. “Right to my face.” She told him she would take her insulin and meds. She told him she had taken her insulin and meds. But when the nurse finally pressed her on it, she had to admit she’d done neither. “Welcome to my childhood,” I say.

71/365/Secrets and Lies in 56

Verizon is a bunch of fucking liars. The customer service representatives are always so kind, and I truly believe that they are unwittingly being turned into fucking liars by the evil that is Verizon. Because why would a person with any moral compass create a catch-22 whereby ailing 88-year-olds can neither have nor cancel phone service?

70/365/Secrets and Lies in 56

Pressing the wrong button can result in photographic evidence, stuck garage doors, false alarms, panic, confusion. Maybe you locked something you needed to unlock, or vice versa. Maybe you were just curious, but what happened was an accident. Maybe you didn’t know a grocery bag could hit an elevator button that registers a cry for help.