Now that Dad’s gone, Mom
thinks she doesn’t need to be in the apartment. She wants to move back to the
house. It’s paid for, after all, and would not cost her thousands a month. Help
can come to the house. She’d be (sort of) right if it wasn’t a hoarder’s house.
When the help sees the situation, they will like report her to adult protective
services. She let her driver’s license lapse a couple of decades ago and has
now decided that she could get it back. She is eighty-seven years old.
You have so much going on. I am sorry.
ReplyDeleteHow do you have time to think about your own stuff?
ReplyDeleteI want to thank you guys for listening to me. I know it's all such a downer, and really, I'm doing pretty well given everything. But indeed, it's been hard to think about/deal with my own stuff. I'm chipping away at the list! But again, this is stuff I never really talk about, so I figured maybe if I did, it would help on some level. So thank you.
ReplyDeleteOh dear. My MIL has stopped doing a lot of things, but still things she can do them if an emergency (eg. driving) - because she can't really remember or reconcile that she can't. I pointed out that if she drives, THAT is the emergency!
ReplyDeleteDoes she have an enduring power of attorney in place?
I am a great believer in being blunt, but being blunt kindly! Tell your mother that she'd be reported to adult protective services. And that it is in her best interests for that NOT to happen. (Especially after what I hear about guardianship arrangements in the US.)
Sending hugs. This is similar to what we are going through with my in-laws, and what I went through with my mother. It's really tough.
I am sorry too for all you are going through. And for me, this blogging is more about community than writing, so I appreciate that people are being so honest about their lives.
ReplyDeleteI have a friend going through similar situation with her elderly parents who want to stay in their home but simply physically cannot--and are afraid of having help come in that isn't their children (their children who were, frankly, emotionally and physically abused and who need space away from the physical needs of their father). It is impossible to reconcile to make all parties happy.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad she doesn't have a valid driver's license. I assume she'd have to be road-tested again, but on the needle-slim chance she'd pass, there are things you can do to make sure it never happens. Like reporting the situation to the DMV. Or her doctor.
ReplyDeleteIf she did move back into her house, does her county have transportation services to stores and doctor appointments, etc.?