I used to think it was
all my mother. She was just a terrible housekeeper, I reasoned. The days
leading up to houseguests were traumatic, all chores condensed into twenty-four
hours. Later, she made a remark that got me to thinking that maybe my father
was a slob and she got tired of fighting it. No matter what, there was some
serious codependency going on. Nothing changed, and it was clear that nothing
ever would.
Hmm, I remember days before house guests mom would run around stuffing shit into bags and boxes and putting them in the attic kneewall (one place guests would not think to look). It was almost amusing, going through the bags and boxes in the kneewall last year trying to figure out which party or visit from friends prompted the creation of that collection.
ReplyDeleteI have moved, now that I'm divorced, and my house is like a vacation rental compared to where I was. Small, tight, clean, not too much stuff. I lived for 20+ years thinking it was my fault that we did stuff like this, panic cleaning, stuffing things away, what my mom would call "Irish" housekeeping. But it's been four months here and I could have guests walk in right now and not be ashamed. For the first time in my adult life. So I know now, it wasn't me. It probably wasn't your mom either. It is exhausting to live that way.
ReplyDeleteI can relate to the 24-hour before house-guests pick-up. When I started following the minimalism trend on facebook, it was an epiphane. I'll never whittle myself down to one spatula, but getting rid of a ton of things I don't need or use has been so freeing.
ReplyDeleteI'm still working on clearing things out. Guests are banned from coming into my office, though the rest of the house is pretty good. Though I do appreciate notice for visitors so I can actually vacuum the house!
ReplyDeleteI can imagine battling against someone would wear you down year after year. And create a codependency. I've kind of done this with food.