I may or may not have committed one or more of the following acts: driven at a speed higher than the limit; lifted magazines from waiting rooms; participated in an on-paper-illegal sexual relationship or two; recycled inappropriately; written and mailed an anonymous letter of questionable judgment; switched price tags on an item; partaken in ingestion of illegal substances; pinched office supplies from a place of employment; ordered drinks in a bar before I was of legal age; deaccessioned holiday ornaments in my collection by leaving them on other people’s trees; snuck into the gym without leaving a day pass; called the president a fucking asshole; wet a line without a license; shoved forbidden cream puffs into the pockets of a catering uniform; committed sexual acts that are illegal in certain states (unrelated to the cream puffs—mostly).
And all this is why I love you.ReplyDelete
Ah, I figured it out. OK, here's the real comment:ReplyDelete
Oh my, I hope to get a full post on most all of these, starting with the "participated in an on-paper-illegal sexual relationship or two." And I never considered deaccessioning holiday ornaments in that way--brilliant!
These are all great and I hope you committed most of them.ReplyDelete
Is calling the president a fucking asshole only a misdemeanor? Wait a bit. As we get closer to November it'll be punishable by death.ReplyDelete
I'd have thought it was compulsory to be thought of as a decent human being, right?Delete
Best. List. Ever. Cream puffs - oh my.ReplyDelete
I love this. If you haven't called your president a fucking asshole yet don't worry - I've got you covered. And I have a room for you - I'm filling it up with my favourite Americans when he inevitably makes your country unlivable.ReplyDelete
Thank you, Sabine. This helps. Let's hope I can get across the border.Delete