Tuesday, July 31, 2018

209/365/Books

When I was 25 and temping as a secretary in DC and worried that I had no brain at all, I decided to test graduate school waters and signed up for two courses at a nearishby university: a poetry workshop, which was kind of insane of me, and a feminist literary criticism course, which was scary, because I hadn’t been an English major—partly because I didn’t figure out in time that I probably should have been and partly because I have trouble remembering detail and plot points and thought I would fail exams—so I was intimidated to enter a graduate school classroom because what if it turned out I was brainless, but in the evenings, before the calendar caught up with the syllabus, Tim read Frankenstein aloud to me, so that when I read it, it was like a second read (I can’t recommend this enough, actually, and what a fucking amazing book—I still have that cheap Penguin Classics paperback from the class, all yellowed), and, as stated in Letter 1 to Mrs Saville, England, “You will rejoice to hear that no disaster has accompanied the commencement of an enterprize which you have regarded with such evil forebodings,” for even though I was not brilliant, neither were some of the enrolled students, so I held my middlin’ own, and there was this woman in both my classes with big red glasses and an outsized gift* on whom I developed a fan-girl crush and we’re still friends, which is worth the price of tuition.

*I don’t mean to imply that she was all talent. She worked hard. But damn, she’s good.

7 comments:

  1. Tim must be a good reader. Not surprised.

    I'm seriously ashamed to admit this, but when I read "outsized gift" my thoughts went immediately to her bosom. Oops! Sorry.

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  2. Outsized now, Susan, but not then!

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  3. This is what kept me from grad school for so long. I was afraid I wasn't smart enough. I was wrong, which was a huge relief!

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  4. Everyone's outsized compared with me. And Sally, you're clearly smart enough. But boy do I get that fear.

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  5. Oh, the curse of women - the fraud syndrome. Sigh. I can relate.

    Also, now I'm curious - what was your major?

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  6. I think I read Frankenstein, but I am not 100% sure.

    I, too, avoided thinking about grad school because I thought I was not smart enough. It turned out I was smart enough and I loved it.

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