When I was 25 and temping as a secretary in DC
and worried that I had no brain at all, I decided to test graduate school
waters and signed up for two courses at a nearishby university: a poetry
workshop, which was kind of insane of me, and a feminist literary criticism
course, which was scary, because I hadn’t been an English major—partly because
I didn’t figure out in time that I probably should
have been and partly because I have trouble remembering detail and plot points
and thought I would fail exams—so I was intimidated to enter a graduate school
classroom because what if it turned out I was
brainless, but in the evenings, before the calendar caught up with the syllabus,
Tim read Frankenstein aloud to me, so
that when I read it, it was like a second read (I can’t recommend this enough,
actually, and what a fucking amazing book—I still have that cheap Penguin
Classics paperback from the class, all yellowed), and, as stated in Letter 1 to
Mrs Saville, England, “You will rejoice to hear that no disaster has
accompanied the commencement of an enterprize which you have regarded with such
evil forebodings,” for even though I was not brilliant, neither were some of
the enrolled students, so I held my middlin’ own, and there was this woman in
both my classes with big red glasses and an outsized gift* on whom I developed
a fan-girl crush and we’re still friends, which is worth the price of tuition.
*I don’t mean to imply that she was all talent.
She worked hard. But damn, she’s good.
Tim must be a good reader. Not surprised.
ReplyDeleteI'm seriously ashamed to admit this, but when I read "outsized gift" my thoughts went immediately to her bosom. Oops! Sorry.
Outsized now, Susan, but not then!
ReplyDeleteLOL I thought it must be you!
DeleteThis is what kept me from grad school for so long. I was afraid I wasn't smart enough. I was wrong, which was a huge relief!
ReplyDeleteEveryone's outsized compared with me. And Sally, you're clearly smart enough. But boy do I get that fear.
ReplyDeleteOh, the curse of women - the fraud syndrome. Sigh. I can relate.
ReplyDeleteAlso, now I'm curious - what was your major?
I think I read Frankenstein, but I am not 100% sure.
ReplyDeleteI, too, avoided thinking about grad school because I thought I was not smart enough. It turned out I was smart enough and I loved it.